Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
