i don't plan on having that self control this summer
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
