Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Randomize
