Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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