i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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