just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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