I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
3 2 1 whiskey
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
