I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
