i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
