it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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