I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
