Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize