Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
