you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
