Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
