She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
