i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
