Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
