We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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