i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
