So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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