yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
