I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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