hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
