Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
it's like iHOP with fire
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
