It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
