that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize