Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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