from now on my penis is your penis
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize