i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
