Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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