This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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