He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize