Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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