I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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