He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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