Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize