Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
