dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
