But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
True college students do jello shots in the library
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
