Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
