I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize