They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize