im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
