Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
