The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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