Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
