Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
