PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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