Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
