i just wanna soil my oats bro
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Don't make out with my wife yet
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
