I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just gargled with NyQuil
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
