I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
