so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
