You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
