The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
