so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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