I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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