you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
