I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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