Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
