soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
